Angels Among Us..

In the summer of 1988, we gave birth to another beautiful baby girl, Kaitlin. As we had only a two bedroom apartment, we set up a little area for Kaitlin at one end of our bedroom. The arrangement worked very nicely when she was tiny.. I nursed her, so it was convenient in the middle of the night to just walk across my room, rather than roam half asleep through the house. After Kaitlin's first birthday, it became quite apparent that we would need larger accomodations.

Rod and I had our hearts set on a townhouse complex a few blocks north of us. We were disappointed upon inquiring with the developer about the availability of one, to find out that there was a two year waiting list for them. As we could not afford to buy a house, and the townhouse we desired was a rental unit, we decided we would wait it out, unless we could find something else affordable and suitable in the meantime.

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A year had passed since first speaking to the townhouse developer, and we had yet to find other housing we cared for. I decided one day, about a year after putting our names on the list, to call and inquire once more. The lady I spoke with informed me that availability would still be at least a year. After hanging up the telephone, I prayed aloud to my grandmother, who had passed away in 1986, to please help us if she possibly could... One half hour after speaking with the lady at the complex, the telephone rang. It was she...

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I was completely surprised when she told me a townhouse had become available to us. Perhaps it was the utter elation, or more correctly, the shock of hearing such good news, which prevented me from asking her how a unit could become available to us, when the wait would be at least a year only a half hour earlier. I hung up the phone...and thanked my grandmother. Suddenly, I felt very anxious..trepidatious. I felt something was wrong, but did not know what... I sat for a time at my dining table, deep in thought.

The most disturbing thought came into my mind, seemingly from nowhere. It occured to me that a few years earlier, a lady who had lived in one of the townhouses where we would be moving, had a spat with a neighbour one day, and in a rage got into her car and backed down her driveway, unknowingly striking and killing her two year old daughter. The thought paralyzed me with fear. I knew that somehow, that dreadful event was associated with me...

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I was aware that the lady in question had worked with my sister at the time of the accident. I telephoned my sister and after explaining my situation to her, asked her if she could check her personnel records and tell me the townhouse number the lady had lived in. My sister assured me she would look into it for me and call back. A few days elapsed and she had not returned my call so I decided to call her once more...

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Although my sister told me the lady had lived at townhouse number fifty eight, and not number twelve where I would be living, I still could not shake the apprehensive feelings which consumed me now. But I had no basis for those feelings and would have to endure them, not understanding where they were coming from or why...

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The townhouse had to undergo a lot of repairs, due to a fire which had taken place while the previous tenants had lived there. Therefore, we were unable to view our home until the actual day we moved in. The moment I stepped inside the door of the house, tremendous fear and trepidation enveloped my entire being... Despite what my sister had told me, I knew this was the house the little girl who had been killed had lived. The feelings of angst were ones I would have to endure for the next two years while we lived there.

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Many times over the next two or three months, I would ask my sister if she was sure about the house number at which the lady lived, and each time she would assure me she was correct. I was confused and worried about the emotions I was experiencing. Until one day, while Rod, Kaitlin, and I were in our backyard having a conversation with a neighbour. Our neighbour mentioned that she was happy to finally have some 'normal' people living next door to her. I was very curious to know what she had meant by that statement, and asked her to explain. My blood ran cold at her response... "Ever since the lady who lived here killed her daughter in the driveway, she was never the same. She went crazy."

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At the first available opportunity, I called my sister to ask her why she would withold such information from me. She told me that she was concerned about my worrying about it. As well, she did not want me to lose the opportunity of having the townhouse I had so wanted. I spent the next few days in my own little world, deep within my mind, thinking...

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After much thought, a startling and shocking revelation occured to me. I was convinced that the little girl I had seen in my bedroom a few years earlier, had been the same little girl who had died at the townhouse. I learned that the wee girl had died just prior to my seeing her that night in my bedroom. I strongly feel in my heart that the little girl was in need of a mother figure...one to replace her own mother, who had slipped into hell after killing her own daughter. And I feel that my grandmother led me to the townhouse, just for that reason...

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We would learn, later, that the fire which occured in the townhouse before we moved in, had occured in the little girl's bedroom after her death. Her mother spent many hours in the room, pining for her daughter. She had fallen asleep with a lit cigarette one day, causing the fire. That room would eventually become Kaitlin's... During the first few months after we moved in, and prior to learning the truth about the townhouse, Kaitlin would awake at night, occasionally, calling out the name 'Debbie'. In her tiny, sweet, little voice, she would repeat the name, over and over, only stopping when I entered her room to pick her up and console her. I learned from my sister that the wee girl's mother's name was...Debbie...

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There is much yet to add regarding this topic, which is included on the next page, however, I wish to add a little end note here, concerning the creation of this page... I had chosen the musical piece you are listening to now, by Rachmaninov, during the first stages of this page. Each time I edit my page, the music plays, infinitely, as that is the mode I have chosen. A remarkable thing occured while editing this page, on the second night of construction. I was concentrating, fervently, on the writing of the text, music playing quietly in the background, when I heard a series of knocks...like that of someone rapping on a wooden door. Rap, rap, rap.. Every few seconds, knocking. I turned down my speakers. The knocking stopped. Upon turning up the volume again, I was startled to note that the knocking was coming from within the music... Three knocks, every few seconds.. It frightened me enough to change the music. Let me tell you, I could not change the music fast enough! I changed it to a piece by Handl, entitled "You'd Be So Nice To Come". Hmmm.. The next day, after giving the incident much thought, I came to feel that perhaps the knocking was a sign from the little girl, telling me she wished to be included in my life once again. Though she has caused me no harm, the thought of allowing her back in unnerved me. And then it occured to me that the music I had chosen to replace the Rachmaninov piece could really be misconstrued as an invitation for her to return to me! So....I changed the music again..back to the original piece. And now I hear the knocking no more. I guess what I should like to know, at this point, is....should any of my visitors happen to hear the knocking sound, please do let me know of it. I have not heard it since that night, and wish not to again... Indeed, each time I come to this page, I am expecting to hear it again. This page frightens me somewhat.. ::sheepish grin::

Where Do You Wish To Go?
My Passions My Friend..My Heart Mysterious Wonders

Angels Among Us Darkness Before The Dawn My Music Room

My Dreams Life Quotations Awards I Have Won

My Card Shoppe (temporarily closed) Lauren's Homepage

�I have entitled this background set 'Angels'. It will be available, along with several others, on a separate page in a short while, for your personal use.